I am the kind of mom who does not freak about germs and dirt. My daughter has been in a daycare setting since she was 9 months old. As a result had the chicken pox at 10 months, and (gasp) as a consequence didn't have the chickenpox vaccine. I expect kids to get dirty, and then expect some of that dirt will be ingested. I also do not wipe down everything that my child could come into contact with. Prior to eating, I don't wipe down with my own wipes a table at a restaurant, etc. etc. I figure it is all good, builds up the immunity right?
Well the rest of my family is not like this. Please don't think that my house is a mess and that I don't like things clean. I just think kids are kids, and dirt never hurt anyone. The rest of my family panics about anyone touching ANYTHING before it has been properly sanitized. Really. I try to be a "go with the flow" sister and daughter about the whole thing, but it is hard. Like the time I was scolded for giving my nephew a "dirty" shoebox to play with. Dirty because it came from the store and people have touched it....
Why is this relevant to my adoption blog?
I have been slowly discussing my adoption plans with my sister, and she is asking lots of questions, most of them are ill informed, but I understand she hasn't been researching and reading about adoption for the last 2.5 years so I am trying to inform her.
The first questions was "so you are going to adopt a Chinese baby then?" I explained that is no longer an option for a single gal, and was never my first choice. The next Question was "so you will adopt another 3rd world baby then?" And so I explained my plan is to adopt from Ethiopia, a girl most likely under the age of 4, as I don't want a huge age difference between ML and NK.
The Last Question, and the one that required all that background info was "well do you get to pick a healthy one?". I explained how yes you do get to decide which, if any, special needs you would be comfortable accepting. I told sister I am of course I am open to a child with Epilepsy as ML has it, wouldn't change her for the world, and I know I can deal with that. So then she asks the HIV/AIDS question. I tell her that the kids are tested for that, but she was not convinced that the tests "there" would be reliable. She then asked about Hep B and others, I said again tested.... she then says "but kids suck on things and that is how people get Hep B and what if NK falls and skins their knee and there is blood... I would be nervous about having son play with your girls...."
I then tried to explain my limited knowledge about such things, but all she kept saying is "but you could just request a healthy one, if there are so many, please don't get one with a disease..."
4 comments:
I am the same way about germs....I mean kids our parents didn't freak out about that stuff and we all turned out o.k. I get so mad when I see those lysol commercials and the mothers are spraying everything in the house including the child...seriously all those chemicals CAN NOT be good!
as for your sister...hmmmm...just keep informing sister about your as you learn more. Give her books or magazines or whatever you can find that support what you are telling her...maybe even tell her to ask her family doctor about it...she will get there...eventually!
One of the best things I did was direct a friend with concerns to the CDC's website (cdc.gov); they have tons of "info sheets" about common illnesses that have facts about how you can acquire/transmit illnesses. (And if your sister is worried about Hep B- there is a vaccine for that:)
People don't understand that MOST blood-bourne illnesses are NOT easily shared (if she wants to be worried about germs, she should worry more about giardia which is easily transmitted between kids- and then you get treated and it goes away.) Providing people with facts is one of the best ways to get them over their fears.
Hope you can bear with her and help her overcome her fears!
oh my goodness, you have a lot of educating to do!
one of my work colleagues picked up Makeda's teething rattle off the carpet and started meticulously rubbing it down. I said "what are you doing? She survived 6 months in ethiopia, carpet fluff isn't going to kill her". Makeda will play with your daughter.
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