I soooo wanted to say something...

I am ML's soccer coach again this year, and last night at our game we were playing the Yellow team (we are Maroon!). Gripping story so far, I know!

Anyways, I noticed that there was a transracial family on the yellow team. Two white parents cheering very loudly for a little girl, who, if I had to guess, was Haitian.

I so wanted to go up to them and ask a million questions, but then how do you do that at a non adoption function without looking like an ass? Seriously!! Plus I didn't want to single them out. It is supposed to be fun evening of soccer not Maroon Coach Tanya quizzing members of the Yellow team.

So tell me, what would you have done? What could I have said so as not to sound like a jerk who is just way to nosy?

All I could think of to say was "hi i noticed your family and I wanted to say hi because I am in the process of adopting but I don't want to assume that you adopted and I hope that I am not being too nosy...." and to say that really really fast... ha ha but then they might have looked at me like who is this crazy lady??

So in the end. I said nothing.
Advice? Anyone? Anyone?

I Will Be a Disaster in September

Last night was Kindergarten Orientation, and during the opening speech I started to get misty eyed... I wrote about it more here. Wow I think I will be a blubbering mess when ML has her first day of school in September.

I had a great chat with the teacher, and the classroom is so cute!! I spoke with her about ML's Epilepsy and her Father and then I told her about my adoption plans and she was so excited for us.

She asked me if I would like her to try to incorporate the country of choice into the curriculum, and I said that would be wonderful. I asked her to wait until we are officially a waiting family.

I think I might be as excited for ML to go to this school as she is!! Hee!!

ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED IN
KINDERGARTEN

(a guide for Global Leadership)

All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school.
These are the things I learned:
Share everything.
Play fair.
Don't hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw
and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.
Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.
And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living. Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm. Think what a better world it would be if we all - the whole world - had cookies and milk at about 3 o'clock in the afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess. And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

[Source: "ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN" by Robert Fulghum. See his web site at http://www.robertfulghum.com/ ]

Silent Sibling - Being the Non-Adopted Child

This article from rainbowkids.com could very well be written by ML when she is older.

I have found many articles, blog posts, books all speaking of the need of adoptive parents to ensure that the birth culture of their adopted child is celebrated, and cultural events attended etc. Very rarely is this discussed in relation to any children who arrived in the family by birth. I know that everyday can be a celebration of their culture of being Canadian (or whatever cultural affiliation the family claims), but there needs to be more than that, I think at least.

This really made me think about ML when the author spoke about attending a Polish Festival.

"After all of these rich Korean cultural experiences, my parents thought it would be a great idea for me to explore my own Polish cultural heritage".

ML was born in Quebec. We moved from there when she has 4 months old. To hear her father speak you would think it is a vastly different culture and ethnicity than the rest of "English Canada". I want ML to know of her French background and culture as well as English. Granted, she has access to her french culture when she spends her weekends with her father, but I want it to be celebrated in our house as well.

The biggest lesson I took form this article can be summed up in the following quote:

Although not an official member of the triad, siblings are fully engulfed by the world of adoption. In fact, having a sibling who is adopted internationally means being an ambassador to the world of adoption: answering endless questions from various, interested people, attending enriching cultural events, among many other tasks, both large and small. It often requires reporting to others who are not aware of adoption not only the basics, but also intimate elements of the everyday life of your family that would otherwise remain private.

At times,the role of ambassador can be a heavy burden, especially since no sibling has asked for this life-long appointment. On the other hand, it can provide diverse, eye-opening experiences that most are not lucky enough to experience and even allow siblings who are brought together by adoption to bond in ways that biological siblings often do not.

This article just reminds me that I need to ensure that we do "French and English Canadian" cultural activities as well as ethnicity of our future adopted child in our family. I hope that one day I can take ML back to Quebec to see where she was born, to see our old house, the hospital etc. The same as I would wish for my adopted child, to take them back to the country of their birth.

This article was a great reminder of how to ensure that the non-adopted child/ren in the family are not left out in the learning about their cultural heritage.

40 Days of Change

Rana posted this challenge on her blog a few days ago. I wanted to join in.

What is 40 days of change you ask? Well, I will tell you. 40 Days of Change is about making a change. A change in you, to aspects of your life, to your community or to the world.

I have been mulling around the idea for a few days, trying to decide what I would do. Well I have decided.

I want to change the amount I consume.
I want to get rid of the excess STUFF that is cluttering up our house

How I consume food, household items, clothing etc. When buying groceries yesterday the increase prices of food really hit home.

And then this is happening. (I know if I consume less food etc. it won't end food shortages and droughts.) In North America, we consume far more than we need. Also the less I consume, the easier on the pocket book my adoption will be.

There is too much "stuff" in my house, and I want to get rid of it.

Rana is posting daily inspirations, and I recommend you check out her blog to follow along. I will post intermittently about my progress as well!

Thanks for this great Idea Rana!!

Nothin But Nets results

Remember this little game I posted?
I received an email today with the results and wanted to share.

...thanks to YOU!
Dear Tanya,
We are very pleased to announce that the first-ever World Malaria Day was a triumph, and we want to thank YOU for making it happen. Your efforts, combined with those of Nothing But Nets’ partners and the United Nations Foundation, helped us to achieve our goals of spreading the word about malaria in fun and different ways.

Here are some of the highlights of our success:
More than 16,000 people played our new game,
Deliver the Net, and had a bed net sent to Africa on their behalf, from Vestergaard Frandsen, a bed net manufacturer;
Nearly 350 supporters across the country hosted NETS Challenge events, ranging from billiards tournaments to basketball games to bake sales;

Together we raised more than $550,000 - that’s 55,000 lives saved!
Supporters attended events hosted by our partners in cities across the country, including Chicago, Houston, Dallas, and Denver; UN Foundation Founder and Chairman, Ted Turner; sports columnist and Nothing But Nets spokesperson, Rick Reilly; and our mascot, the mosquito; recognized World Malaria Day by ringing the closing bell at the New York Stock Exchange on April 25.

Check out some pictures from World Malaria Day!

The success of World Malaria Day brings us one step closer to helping the United Nations reach its goal of eliminating malaria deaths in Africa and covering the entire continent with bed nets.

Thanks for your support!

Sincerely,The Nothing But Nets Team
http://www.NothingButNets.net/

May Long Weekend YAY!!

This is where ML and I will be this weekend, with the whole Clan. There is sunshine to be sat in, a pool to play in, a spa day with my sisters, and lots of family fun to be had.

Hope your May 24 Weekend is a good one!

Letter to the editor.

Oh sometimes it is hard to live where I live. This is a quote from the local paper's opinion section.

Two Ontario women ” who set themselves up as a married couple, had a child and then split ” were both awarded parental rights to the child by the Ontario Court of Appeal, even though only one of the women has any blood relationship to the kid. So, now, the woman with no blood relationship to the child has just as much say about the future of the kid as either the biological father or birth mother. (emphasis mine)

Lawyers say the ruling may pave the way for courts to decide children can legally have multiple parents, including foster parents, close friends, uncles, aunts, etc.
If that happens, surely we will have chaos in our society.
But let's all get nuts.
Let's allow people to have multiple wives or husbands, and since anything apparently goes in our society” let's keep the rest of our options open, too, wherever that leads us.

I have responded with a letter to the editor. I guess we will see if it is published.

My letter stated the following.

The right of a same sex couple to be seen as legal parents and guardians in the eyes of the law has nothing to do with legalizing Polygamy. Since when does sharing DNA have anything to do with being a good parent? Are adoptive parents not parents? If a same sex couple has a child together, they are that child's parents. What about a couple who is infertile? What if they use a sperm or egg donor? Are they not the child's parent? The ability to procreate and sharing DNA is not indicative of a person's ability to be a good parent. This is just fear mongering.

A Walk to Beautiful - have you seen it yet?

I was finally able to watch it, but missed the first 12 minutes... so I will try to re-watch it.

It broke my heart, and then made it whole again. Really. I know that sounds cheesy, but I don't know how else to explain how it made me feel.

The young girl Wubete, I just wanted to give her a hug. To see what the Fistula Hospital does for the women after, especially if they don't want to go home, wow. What a wonderful thing.

My other favourite part, was when one of the women arrived home (can't recall her name) and saw that her husband had not looked after their home, and gives him supreme shit, I loved it. To think of all she went through and came home to that...

If you want to make a donation here is the site.

Mother's Day

This is what was waiting for me on Mother's day this year..

I am a lucky Mom.

Today is World AIDS Orphans Day

May 7th marks World AIDS Orphans Day, a campaign to draw attention to the more than 15 million children orphans by AIDS worldwide. Just 1 in 10 AIDS orphans receive any external support. The needs of children are being ignored in the fight against HIV and AIDS. Check out the World AIDS Orphans Day website (http://www.worldaidsorphans.org/) where you can join the movement, raise awareness, appeal to elected officials and candidates, plan and host events, fundraise, follow links to partner organizations’ websites, and watch and upload videos and photos.

Thanks!

Absolutely nothing to do with Adoption

OK, this is completely irrelevant to this blog, however it is funny and made my giggle this morning, and it is Monday morning, and who couldn't use a laugh? ENJOY!

Your regularly scheduled 'single mom adopting' blogging will commence again shortly.