Silent Sibling - Being the Non-Adopted Child

This article from rainbowkids.com could very well be written by ML when she is older.

I have found many articles, blog posts, books all speaking of the need of adoptive parents to ensure that the birth culture of their adopted child is celebrated, and cultural events attended etc. Very rarely is this discussed in relation to any children who arrived in the family by birth. I know that everyday can be a celebration of their culture of being Canadian (or whatever cultural affiliation the family claims), but there needs to be more than that, I think at least.

This really made me think about ML when the author spoke about attending a Polish Festival.

"After all of these rich Korean cultural experiences, my parents thought it would be a great idea for me to explore my own Polish cultural heritage".

ML was born in Quebec. We moved from there when she has 4 months old. To hear her father speak you would think it is a vastly different culture and ethnicity than the rest of "English Canada". I want ML to know of her French background and culture as well as English. Granted, she has access to her french culture when she spends her weekends with her father, but I want it to be celebrated in our house as well.

The biggest lesson I took form this article can be summed up in the following quote:

Although not an official member of the triad, siblings are fully engulfed by the world of adoption. In fact, having a sibling who is adopted internationally means being an ambassador to the world of adoption: answering endless questions from various, interested people, attending enriching cultural events, among many other tasks, both large and small. It often requires reporting to others who are not aware of adoption not only the basics, but also intimate elements of the everyday life of your family that would otherwise remain private.

At times,the role of ambassador can be a heavy burden, especially since no sibling has asked for this life-long appointment. On the other hand, it can provide diverse, eye-opening experiences that most are not lucky enough to experience and even allow siblings who are brought together by adoption to bond in ways that biological siblings often do not.

This article just reminds me that I need to ensure that we do "French and English Canadian" cultural activities as well as ethnicity of our future adopted child in our family. I hope that one day I can take ML back to Quebec to see where she was born, to see our old house, the hospital etc. The same as I would wish for my adopted child, to take them back to the country of their birth.

This article was a great reminder of how to ensure that the non-adopted child/ren in the family are not left out in the learning about their cultural heritage.